Safe

June 24, 2018 My daughter and I spent the afternoon at the beach with my Dad. It was a really peaceful afternoon without the pressure of competing conversations or an audience watching the dynamic between the two of us. My Dad shared that he had a wild past...I mean a seriously wild past! My lack…

Lunch

June 23, 2018 We had no plans today. The beach, the sunshine and the palm trees were calling but we have no plans today. I felt off a bit this morning after last night's dinner. My sister, my mom and my bestie have texted me to ask how it's going. I am not sure how…

Three Brothers

June 22, 2018 We arrived on Hawaii yesterday and met my family for dinner tonight. It was wonderful to see everyone again and it felt a little more comfortable but it was still nerve-wracking. We were greeted with beautiful, fragrant smelling lei's and kisses on our cheecks. I noticed at dinner as my three brothers…

T-Minus 6 Hours

June 21, 2018 11:14 a.m. Our flight has just left Oregon headed for Honolulu, Hawaii. My daughter and I are both writing in our journals. It seems as though I have been waiting for this day for so long. I have a mix of emotions ranging from nerves to joy, to excitement to fear. I…

Father’s Day

June 17, 2018 Father’s Day has always been a date on the calendar I dread. A day when I am reminded I did not grow up in a picturesque home with a loving father. In fact, my experience was quite the opposite. My adopted father wasn’t a good person, he was abusive. As I have…

An open invitation

I spoke to my dad yesterday. He received the photo book I sent to him for Father's Day. He was appreciative. Here's how the conversation went: Dad: You had a good life. I want to make sure your parents (he called them my "step" parents) have an open invitation to visit me in Hawaii. Me:…

Mother’s Day

May 13, 2018 I woke up to torrential rain pounding above my head on my roof. I was breathless and I vividly remember the dream I was having before I woke. I was caught in a tornado. The sky was black, the winds were vicious and I couldn't find my family. I was searching for…

Original Certificate

Adopted children have two birth certificates. I had no idea until my mom mentioned she didn't know my Dad's full Hawaiian name and therefore, my birth certificate didn't list a father. What birth certificate? A pre-adoption birth certificate is provided when a child is born. Of course this makes logical sense but I just assumed…

99.99%

In one of my earliest conversations with my dad he mentioned the power of owning land in Hawaii. He reiterated the age old paradox of having power when you own land. He talked about the importance of the family name and registering on the Hawaiian lands website. While Ancestry is highly accurate, the Department of…

Tahitian Pearls

  March 19, 2018 Two days after my birthday, I received a birthday gift from my Dad. He sent me Hawaiian silver bracelets and stunning Tahitian pearl earrings. Ironically, my mom’s gift to me for my birthday was a silver bracelet with Tahitian pearls on the ends of the bracelet. Although they have yet to connect,…